i was just thinking the other day how great it is that we can think and do all the stuff that we do.

i mean, really, it is a wonder. super amazing. i could just spend a whole day being amazed how we can just exist.

and than i would remember that very soon, in few decades, i will just die.

and than i am terrified.

this is my usual day.

i need to become a drug addict or something. ironman training helps me forget this fact, that i will die and all this wonder will be gone.

well, since i have to die i am not sure should i die first or last. at least id like to die when i get really bored of life. this is why pain is great, maybe when you are in such pain that you really want to die. but i do not think i will ever get in so much pain to want to die, cause pain, in my opinion, is great. it reminds me that i am alive and well. if i feel no pain that means i am fucked in some way. pain is great. it is life.

and life is wonderful.

but why do we have to die. so stupid. it is like this big stupid joke on all of us.

everything is so wonderful, every day i do such great things, people around me do great stuff. everything is so awesome. like making coffee, writing a blog. it is so amazing. toilet paper is amazing.

and than you just die.

fuck!

horrible!

ok, this is an easy sunday morning.

ill go ride my indoor trainer for few hours and forget about death.

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i used photos by pieter hugo, south african friend, to illustrate this post. i will write more about his work a bit later. pieter and i, i guess, we hate and love each other. he is a strange presence in my life. at the end i have to say he is a great guy.