listening to excuses

sasha grey interview

my job is not isolated from people. i do not make machines or paint walls or calculate numbers in solitude. i work with people. everything i do is about getting people to do something.

best way to get people to do something is to figure out what is good for them and if they want to do it at all and then show it to them.

i am not particularly good at this. i wish i was.

people are hard to manage.

literally you can find a poor unhappy person and explain to this person how to change to be rich and happy, make it very clear and simple, even write a five point list what needs to be done, and still this person will not do it.

the lack of self belief in people is amazing.

literally people are walking bags of irrational insecurities.

things are very simple.

as soon as things sound complicated something is not right. just make it simple and it will work.

but people have this way of making things seem so complicated. it is unbelievable how complicated the simplest of things can become when someone is super insecure.

and the way people complicate this is usually through excuses which make no sense whatsoever.

i think every day i listen to about few hours of excuses. believe me – few hours.

i know someone is going to give me an excuse even before they tell me. i know it. it is like a sixth sense. and i know what it is about. but out of politeness and respect i still have to listen to it and even offer arguments even though i know that those arguments will make no sense to the listener. and it just goes around and around.

with some people its like years of excuses.

example: imagine you have two glasses, one empty and second full of water. the goal is to move the water from one glass to the other. solution is simple. just pour the water. but hey! people get super insecure about that and start thinking: what happens if i spill it? what happens if some water is left in the glass? is anyone evaluating this? why do i have to do this?

imagine you spend talking to someone for a year almost every second day about such things and still this person did not pour the water from one glass to the other.

and i actually pour the water hundred times in front of them, i bring other people who pour the water in front of them, back and forth, back and forth, and still they do not do it themselves. nothing can convince them. nothing! the talking continues. year after year. life passes by. nothing changes.

human insecurities are amazing.

i mean this really happens.

and worst thing is that everybody does it.

how to change this i do not know.

things are really so extremely simple… to an objective observer.

very very strange.

history is like a big collection of people trying to change their own insecurities for thousands of years, nothing else.


i am not trying to be a psychologist, nor i pretend to know anything about it. this is an observation.