i made a snobbish escape from the world of business when i was still young and have stayed away from it for many years. i have found a nice secluded hide out in mediocre endurance sports, occasional freelance job for a small business or a friend, and unfunded unsellable art projects. however, thanks to my talent for figuring bad things out super quick, i have gotten close to business again and discovered again things i never liked – corruption.
as most people have the ability to truly ignore corruption which is right under their noses i just can not get to this level. i am aware i sound bitter and frustrated but i am not. i accept it as a fact but i also accept the fact that people who deal with corruption make me want to break their heads. i mean i am not only angry at people who lie and steal but i also think they are lost souls who need a good beating so they might be saved (i am a believer in eternity of the soul, i just like the metaphor).
so anyway, i keep meeting people nowadays or hearing about people close to me who do bad stuff: cheat their own companies and people who provide their salaries, make deals which are not about quality of the work but based on connections, manipulate public knowledge and fake prices… this is especially so concentrated always around web projects which have very little standards (remember the dot com crash – one of the biggest corruption bullshit tragedies in the history of man kind?).
i still have to figure out what to do…
although it is super clear to me what to do in order to get ahead in this atmosphere (i mean it takes half a brain to cash in on corruption) i am always restrained from doing it. instead of feeling ambition i feel pity and anger.
i basically think most of the world wrongs are caused by this kind of behaviour and i have see how this behaviour really ruins societies and opportunities beyond obvious. one little “bad deal” has much bigger consequences than just getting some extra cash out of a company – it is actually the building block of war, poverty, illness… anything bad feeds on this behaviour like a cancer and even the smallest “bad deal” feeds the monsters.
i do have to figure out what i can do which i think is a much bigger challenge: i do enjoy my sport as i am independent, i enjoy my events and projects which i was smart enough to organize without any funding, i enjoy my art as it costs me nothing yet i enjoy it so much, and finally my business goals have almost been perfected to the point in which i can stay far away from “bad deals”.
how long i can maintain this distance i will see. i do not know if all my plans will work out, if i can remain content by just staying away. i wish i saw a super hero. that would be great if i could just go out in the night and beat up people – like batman or something.
i do not know how many of you who read this can relate to what i am saying. many people do subconsciously ignore this reality because they profit from it. weather this pays of or not i an not wise to say, i know only that now i can not play that game.
Rafael Rozendaal in New York via Rhizome.org email to marc kremers about digital club’s animation