my grandmother died 40 days ago so today we had some kind of a traditional meeting at her grave. yesterday morning my father’s best friend from childhood died of cancer and tomorrow is his funeral. so this makes a three day marathon of spending time around people who’s close relatives died.

i was not around people in this mood for a long time and suddenly i am super exposed.

of course it is not great but i would not say it is something to be avoided. i see it as part of what we are and one can not avoid it. death and all that. interesting.

people keep crying, talking about essential stuff or some useless details. strange situations. i keep trying to be funny and people usually think i am mad so they put up with it. i think that at the end i do entertain them and divert them from thinking about more negative stuff: better that they think how silly i am than about death and crap.

anyway, i also saw so many relatives and new people.

funny to see grown men cry. some do that. i do not.

i would like to design my grandmother’s tombstone, i have the best idea. i will see what i can do about it.

anyway, we (my immediate family) try to use these occassions to gather up and actually have a good time with a lunch of dinner over a pizza or fish. it puts us together and we try to joke and be practical and it works. good idea!