i am different kind of person living an almost perfect life

awesome smile

all the time i meet people who tell me i should do stuff the way they do stuff. its amazing how much of that i get. once a week. really!

as it is a human thing to try to tell other people how to do stuff and i do not take it so badly but sometimes it does come across as not so friendly, basically it shows the insecurity the person who talks to me has. they project their own problems to me.

to be honest i am perfectly happy the way i am and where i am is exactly where i want to be. in every possible detail. i am pretty close to having a perfect life 100%. proof of that is that i really have almost no ambitions meaning i need nothing extra to what i have now.

it did not happen by accident, i really worked hard to get to the state of perfect life. everything i do, even though it seems very strange to some people, is carefully chosen because it works with how i am and situations i am in and it brings me 0,1% closer to that 100%.

so if you see me pissing in the middle of the street i do not do that because i am crazy or because i am stupid, i do it because i need to know how that works towards being perfectly happy. and before you explain to me how that will cost me this and that, keep in mind i know that since i was 4 years old probably, but i evaluate the risks and potential and i chose to do it because i probably believe there is a good chance of giving me an improvement.

it takes a lot of experimentation in every day life to figure things out. experimentation leads to loosing fears, to not being afraid, to being more relaxed, or at least to understanding why i am afraid and not relaxed which in few years will lead to that one extra per cent. etc etc… it is a system to be happy and satisfied and make people around me happy and satisfied.

but it is not a hollywood film or a pr campaign. some stuff is weird, some stuff is just not cool, some stuff is annoying, some stuff is awesome.

people in general are growing up looking at advertising and media, and they think things have to be 100% glossy. that you have to be nice to everybody and loved by everybody all the time and that this is how life is done. not really. being nice is not being good – in my experience nice hardly ever goes with good. being loved by everybody is just not possible, people are not designed that way.


if you want to tell me how i should do stuff i hope you read this text first. i am very open for any suggestions as long as you do not come to me as if i do not know stuff or as long as you realize i do actually know what i am doing, that my life is not some kind of a collection of accidents.

on the other side i do try as hard as i can to see people as individuals who make choices and that deserves a lot of respect.