i was asked by lauren cornell, executive director of rhizome.org, to provide texts which prove that what brian droitcour wrote is incorrect.
i have managed to quickly call all my contacts and come up with a list of people who can guarantee my authenticity:
Queen of Spain
the girl next door
High Priest of Burma
Editor of CNN.com
Michael Jordan and all 5 of his children
Kermit the Frog
my mom and dad
my best friends
previous previous director of Moscow Museum of Modern Art
the guy who once made coffee for Fidel Castro 5 years ago
my invisible friend JORKOH
Steven, guy I met on depressed.com chat (he always supports me no matter what!)
all taxi drivers from Stellenbosch, South Africa
a girl I wanted to sleep with
Maria X, greatest artist on earth who is not yet discovered by Brian and rhizome.org
Queen of Netherlands
King of Spain
i said i can provide them contacts to all these people except JORKOH who speaks only to me through telepathy.
if you have 5 mins free please write something about my art and me, write whatever you want, you can not be more off base than brian, and send it to me so i can forward it to rhizome.org.
obviously i am fucking around with this lauren cornell request, cause her request is like the game bullies play in school – they draw apples on a wall and say they will kick your ass if you do not pick them. (yes, school is cruel!)
if i am going to be bullied by rhizome.org i can at least have some fun with it on my own blog.