last night i wanted to go to sleep early because i have started with my swimming lessons. my swimming lessons are very early in the morning and i need to be super rested so i can be concentrated. i was planning to go to sleep around 10 pm and just wanted to check how my blogs are doing. none of them worked and each of them gave me a strange wordpress message.

my called my admin but he was on his way to a swimming session of his own. he told me to request the server reboot. i called my hosting company support and asked for a reboot. they did it but when the machine got up all my websites showed a red hat linux text page.

at a moment i thought that all my files have been deleted. since we migrated to a new server only recently, i did not set up a backup facility yet. this would mean that all my work, thousands of articles, hundreds of pages, dozens of websites and animations, all the stuff that i created over almost a decade has been deleted.

at a moment i started feeling dizzy.

then i thought: maybe this is good. maybe it is good to delete everything. i felt extreme possession and protection over my digital property but in the same time it felt like a burden. something i was constantly lingering on. maybe it was time to delete everything, erase my digital history, and start from a complete zero.

for a moment i was actually enjoying the crash. i was imagining how it would be to achieve this freedom.

it is a choice between always trying to build on the old or just destroying everything and starting with a new.

i could sympathize with all the political leaders because they have no choice but to start working with the old. except the very few who try to delete the history and start with the new – they are always considered tyrants and crazy because they lack compassion – and i could understand but not agree with their ideas as well.

this potential little server crash helped me understand my own and everybody else’s history. also the history of the humans in general.

for better or worst my files were not deleted and everything is back on track and i am still a slave of my digital property.